Saving Selphie Tilmitt: Part One.
by Alan Smithee
Summary: Selphie's gone missing in "our" world. The usual suspects pinpoint her location and run into some people, including one they know.


Story: "Saving Selphie Tilmitt."  
  
Some of these characters/situations/other stuff may be the copyright of SquareSoft. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.   
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!   
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.   
  
Squall was trying to sleep.  
"Dude! You've got to wake up, man!" Irvine shouted.  
"What did you say, Rinoa? You're ready to taste the oncoming storm?" Squall dreamed. Irvine started to shake him.  
"Whoa, that is damn good," Squall said.  
"He's out. Time for Operation: Teabag." Irvine unzipped and prepared to lower the commando. Before he could enter the bag, Squall woke up and drew his gunblade.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" Squall said. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't introduce that to my gunblade's money area!"  
"Chill, man," Irvine replied. "I just needed to wake you up."  
"But why?"  
"Well, Selphie's missing."  
  
Within a few seconds, Squall had rallied his buddies. "Okay, we have a missing person. I want a check of every train station and street corner you can find. We will find Selphie or die trying."  
"Um, dude?" Zell asked.  
"What,Zell?"  
"I just checked the TV. Selphie's on this one channel." The five headed to Zell's TV and proceeded to watch. In an instant, they saw Selphie on Total Request Live.  
"What? She's on this show? Where does it originate from?" Squall asked.  
"From what I hear, it originates from a mythical place called New York City."  
"Then that is where we must go!" Irvine shouted.  
"Okay, okay. I'll tell Nida to start the route." Squall headed over to the elevator.  
  
After a long journey, the Garden finally saw land.  
"Finally! Now all we have to do is find Selphie." Irvine said.  
"Okay. I'll touch down around here." Squall said.  
Meanwhile, two people were talking.  
"So, what is there left for us to do?" one asked.  
"Well, there's really nothing. When you look at it truly, all we do is just hang around at various exotic malls in the tri-state area." the other replied.  
"Yeah. Nothing really cool ever happens to us..." Suddenly, the Garden pulled down as Squall and his crew headed out.  
"Dude, I think something cool just happened..."  
  
"So,do either of you two have any idea where Selphie is?" Squall asked.  
"I dunno, I haven't seen her since my interview with her, man." the first replied.  
"Oh, you're the guy who interviewed us! Alan, is it?" Rinoa asked.  
"Um, sure. For right now. This is my little sidekick."  
"So, how do we get around New York?" Quistis asked.  
"Well, damned if we know," Alan asked.  
"What? How could that be, man? We...ARE...in New York, right?" Irvine asked.  
"Um, no. You're in Providence,Rhode Island. New York's that way," the other person replied.  
"WHY ARE YOU LYING TO US! OUR MAP SAID NEW YORK'S RIGHT HERE!" Zell said.  
"Hold up. There's a reasonable explanation," Alan replied.  
"Yeah, and it's coming up right now!" Zell put up his fists.  
"No, Zell! Don't!" Squall said. However, it was too late. Zell started a fight.  
"YOU IDIOT!" Squall asked.  
"Don't worry. I'll quickly stop this fight," Rinoa said. She quickly tapped Double, then enhanced some Aura to make it work longer. "Now to work this...Ooh, a Quarter! It's all SHINY..." When the smoke cleared, both of their opponents had Longlasting Aura.  
"DAMMIT! NOW THEY'VE GOTTEN SOME MORE SKILLS!" Squall shouted.  
"DMY, Squall. Maybe they don't have a Limit Break set," Quistis said.  
Suddenly, the two pulled out matching CD players.   
"LIMIT BREAK: ALLEY OOP!" the two shouted.  
"FIRST LEVEL, STATUS ATTACK: CLASSICAL GAS!" the other person shouted. He quickly put some older classical music in his player and converted it, causing no damage physically while lulling the five heroes to sleep.  
"SECOND LEVEL, TOTAL DESTRUCTION: SR-71!" Alan shouted. He quickly put in some SR-71 and jumped into the air. Alan then proceeded to come down with his hands blazing like guns, shooting out 71 extremely fast and powerful blasts of energy before he finished. When the smoke cleared, Zell was knocked out, Quistis and Irvine were stunned into a near-point of petrification, and Squall and Rinoa were in bad shape.  
"Dude, we give. We didn't want to fight, anyway." Squall said.  
"Perfectly cool, man," Alan replied. "At least you know what I can do..."  
"So, what's your handles?" Rinoa asked.  
"Just call me Alan. My little sidekick here goes by 'Canabis.'"  
"WHORE!" Canabis shouted.  
"Well, okay. Alan, Canabis, which way is it to New York?"  
"We'll take you. We have nothing better to do."  
"What about the Garden?"  
"Just leave it in the park. It'll be fine. We'll take you."  
"Okay." Squall went and revived his comrades and they all squeezed into Alan's car.  
"Um, dude?"Canabis said.  
"What, man?"  
"I think something cool's about to happen." 


End file.
